From the Scots Skald: Waile Dugs Frae th' Braine

Tavish McTavish th' Laird ay th' Nairth
Stuid at th' praw ay hi' shep
An look'd towa' th' aicelandec coest.

“I’s as Ah min' it Euan,
Thes coods be guid lain fur th' wee Jimmies.”

Euan luked athwart at th' backs ay th' Scots
A-rowin' th' lest hunder yars tae th' shair,
“Ef wiccan winet an' Murdoch can hauld et”.
Sed Tavish: “Aye hawayal”.

Es th' tois boats groonded oan th' shair,
Tavish an' hes Thanes jump'd tae th' groon.
Hes Soer-chelle laift tae dafend hes boots.

Inlain th' Vikin's hud lained ap oan th' laift
Afront ay th' tois men beldens.
Baserkeys tae th' laift,
Erchas en th' meddle.
Harthged tae th' reit.
An' th' Warlaird Bjairn Arnsaides stuid an th' reer.
Shooted Tavish: “A-cowrin' bahin' hais main!”

The Thanes march'd aup th' bech.
Tha Baserkeys avanc'd ower th' brae
Towa' th' left hain shep.
An' Tavish an' hes main eproach'd th' Vikens
Tae fayet,

Erchas tairn'd an' vollys wa' lus'd
Messen th' target, tha Thanes.
Bet a secand wae ay arrows feel frae th' lift
An' fife ay th' seven Thanes fayell.

Fower Viken Harthged charg'd.
Th' Thanes foot valyently,
Killen tois Vikens fur th' loass ay a body Scot.
An' th' Vikens fail beck, blooded an' cafus'd.

Tavish thayen charg's intae th' frey,
Waipen' oot th' Harthged
En fraitnen' th' Vikens nayerby.

Thayen, es Tavish gat hes braith
Hisaw Bjairn, oathswairn tae hes raivel
Volla th' Friggin' Maid'n.
Tavish charged again, wi' gods oan hes saide,
Th'Scot wa' victorioos
An' Bjairn ran awee wi' a serioos woond.
Laugh'd Tavish: “Tha' el slaw th' dobber doon!"

Seen' Tavish aloyn aset fur Euan,
Th' Viken Waryers chairg'd it ay th' buildin'.
Drenalen oan overlood
Tavish fooght thaim oof, kellen' tois
Senden' thay raist scarrayen beck tae th' belden'.

Grabbin' a flamin' brain,
Tavish ran in an beldens wa' sit oan faiyer.
Th' erchas hud thayer becks tae heem.
Sed Tavish: “Cam oan, les gang an' scaur sem Laivy!”

Tavish raic'd en, killin' thee.
Th' erchas gaither'd themsaylves tagethar
En' th' lest Scots Thane fayell.
Sed Tavish: “Ya shooldn’y ha dain 'at!"
Tavish charged an waip'd ott tha mail.

Speart Euan: “Wha’s laift?”
An hae turn'd towa' tha boots.
Tavish sa' th' Baserkeys a-comin'.
Sayed Tavish: “Thaim"
An' th' Baserkeys chairg'd.

Bludy wes th' combet
Tavish stud, weth th'woons af a hayero
An al th' Baserkeys wa' dayed.

Sed Euan: “Lo-ook! Tha Vikens hae goon”.
Fa seen th' battel wa' tint, th'rayest hud ran awee

Tavish McTavish th' Laird ay th' Nairth
Savayed hes new tarretree.
Sed Tavish: "Thes lain is oors noo.
Gie th' gear aff th' boots, wee Jimmies,
An' lets hae a swatch at whit wai’ve gaut!"

From the Scots Skald: Tha Coo Reed

Tavish McTavish, th' laird o' th' nairth,
Staun in th' entran’tae his stoatin loaby 'n' keeked oot.
Ha staired intae kenspeckle feecies.
Feecies o' fowk ha’ad groon up wi', faot wi' 'n' git blootert wi'.
Th' feecies staird back a’im. 'Twas a' thay cuid dae.

“Wha Euan, ha cam? Wae went weel, tames wur guid.
Whit maed thaim thenk tha’ thay cuid raemaeve me as laird?”

Hae tairnd awa’ fae th’ heids oan speers 'n' stairted
Tae donder back intae th' loaby.
Th’ raivault craishd 'n' th' gaffaz essacutied fa tha desloylty.
“Laiss hawp thess’ull bae a lais’n tae thaim a'.
Ah'm th’ laird o' th' nairth, nay’n’kin tak' tha’fa mai!”

“Laird! Reedas oan th' sath’n bairda!”
A maisager bolted ap tae Tavish.
“Ay thenk thair efter oor haylen coos!”

Swiflay, Tavish saent aff hais Thayns tae support th' Waryers
awready keekin efter th' coos.
“A'll gather mair men 'n' catch ye up.”
Awa' th' fields th' Soer-Chele wur waiten whin th' Thayns arrayv'd.
Th' haird wa' sprayd-oot.
Maist wur in thray groops tae thair richt fernent
A-marshy neuk o' th' feld.
A wee groop a'coos wa' fa' tae th' laift.

“Hair tha' cam”.

Leif th' Jammy
Staun wi' a unit o' Bonnachts aitha saide a' hin
Wi' twa wee groops a' Narsmen aith' saide a' thaim.
Aff tae th' laift a wee groop o' Narsmen
Wur smoukin up oan th' wee group o' coos.

“Laive thaim fur noo, wakin git thaim efter.
Th' mayn pairt o' th' haird as marem pourtaint”.

Th' mayn boady o'Narse-Geels
Avanc'd apaun th' haird
Wa' th' Scots mairchd tae ketchup wi` thaim.
Th' Narse-Geel Bonnachts
Avanc'n tae wi`in chargin' distence
Hairld thair javlens at th' braive Scotsmen,
Killen ba yin.

Th' unet wi' Dean exes gaed plooin' intae th' Thayns.
Th' haun tae haun comba' wis bludy
Bit th' wis Scots hame groon.
Th' Bonnachts stugg'd bak wi' th' loss o' faive o' th' echt,
Th' stroanger Scots staun fairm wi'oot lauss.

Th' Narse-Geel Waryers wi' javlens chairgd
Intae th' Soer-Chele.
Mair bludshaid,
Agin th' Bonnnachts stugg'd bak,
Lusen saix main, th' Scots ba' lusen fower.

Twa' th' Scot tairn tae atteck:
Baith unets hairld thair javlens.
Th' Thayns waipd oot th' Bonnachts
Causen feteeg oan th' nairby Narse-Geels.
Th' Soer-Chele wur nae sae keyn
Bit th' Bonnachts tha' faut wa doon tae yin Jimmy.
An' chairgd in tae dicht oot th' wen man laift.

Twa unets o' Narse-geels waiped oot.

Th' Narsemen chairged intae th' Scots Waryers
Killen tae 'n' drayven thaim beck.
Maenwheel th' unet o' Narsemen
Sneekie sassenachs
Steelin' ap th' laift saide o' th' feel twar th' wee groop o' coos.

A' lest Tavish arraiv'd wi' hi' Waryers
Thay dooble-mairchd tward th' ainamy
Hailden thair groon 'n' rownden oop coos.

Enspayaird bai Euean's roosen spaich
Tavish 'n' hi' maen
Shreg'd aff thair feteeg!
An' et th' doobel kutup wi' th' Narse-Geels.
Th' Scots Waryers hed a go agin
An' agin
Tae destrawy th' wee unet o' Narsemen,
Bit fayled 'n' avenchalee
Gev oop.

Realaisen th' reed wa' faylen,
hes Narsemen smoukin up th' lef haun saide
Wunnae git awa' wi' th' coos,
Leif dasaidid ta'ettack.

Tha Narsemen oan th' richt
Chairgd th' Thayns.
Failen, 'n' wur dustrayd.

Seyen Tavish claise oop,
Leif chairged in tae kell th' Laird.
Bit naytha ded nae damedge.
N' Tavish fayell bak awa' fae th' bloaws.

Anreeg'd ba' th' batter oan thair Laird,
Th' freish Soar-Chele hairld tha' javlens a-Leif,
N' Tavish haird hez tae.
Th' Soar-Chele chairg'd
An' faytel bloaze fayell oan th' Narse-geel Warlaird.
Hae fayell dayed tae th' groon
En a pulavis awm blud.

Th' bettle woan,
Th' dregs o' th' Narsemen gied the pitch
A-runnin' awa' levin' th' coos bahin.

Euan laft alood:
“Nae mair Leif th' Jammy,
Jus' Leif th' Dayed”

Ba Tavish shuk haes haed.
“Ah shuid hae murdurred haim wi' mah ain hends,”
Hae sayed.
“Thes wayen’t ba th' lest taim wa sae they Suthen basteds,
Thay wull ba beck, merk ma woards.
Afta'oor heilen coos
A-spaylen fa' ravenge.”

Ba Euan jus' smaild.

“Layt thaim cam, Tavish, layt thaim cam.”

The Skald's Tale (4): The Year of 7½ Battles

It seemed to be quite suddenly,

Arrived the end of Season 3.

When so many warbands were clashing.

Seven point five battles in all were fought;

Leaving Vikings atop the leaderboard

(Though Iceland took a bashing).

Internal revolts and wounds from battle

Kept Scots, Norse and Normans home with their cattle

With no choice but to take it.

Tavish Mc T was left alone

And Sibbald chose to leave his home -

But Ubbason was not to make it.

Odin and Hugin watched over this time

(When the raven was not in Muspelheim)

Keeping one eye on the action.

While the fates (who were not so nice)

Seemed often to control the dice,

Favouring no particular faction.

Conflict opened with Conn's bold raid

Against the Norse Gaels in Strathclyde

(Not this time obsessed by cattle).

Within that land they burned and harried,

Departing soon with much gold carried;

Leif's vaults emptied after battle.

Meanwhile Gunnblasdt (Leif's oathsworn)

Sought to improve Iceland's form

By raiding in Vestfold;

And though Norwegians paid the price

Of Ubbason's blood sacrifice,

The Icelanders were repelled.

A boost to Anglo Danish pride -

It turned out luck was on their side

When Oldenburg gave up its prize.

The Anglo Danes obtained great riches,

Despite Cnut's persistent bitches

About Alfred's lucky dice.

And Cnut was once again to suffer

When the Norse Gaels proved much tougher,

Invading his homeland.

Fighting on the open plains

They rapidly saw off the Danes

And took control of Jutland.

Not long could Leif enjoy success

Ere Strathclyde was by Welshmen pressed;

Once more he faced disaster.

His cunning plan of slow retreat

Guaranteed Norse Gael defeat.

Caradog is now Strathclyde's master.

Iceland then would face the test

When Cnut met Gunnblasdt in Bulanssness -

A Springbok Viking duel.

For many turns it looked to be

The long awaited Icelandic victory,

But how the fates are cruel!

Gunnblasdt, reeling from defeat

Determined this should not repeat,

And gainst the Franks fought bravely.

Seeing the chance of a quick win

He charged at Charlemal (all in);

Missed - fell - found himself in slavery.

With their Jarl thus deported

Iceland's people now revolted

And chaos quickly followed.

Anglo Saxons under Aethelflaed

Were thus unopposed upon their raid,

So helped themselves to gold*.

*What meagre spoils of war they'd find

Were just scraps that were left behind

For Gunnblasdt had but little.

And so as Anglo Saxon might

Prevailed without a fight,

It only counts as half a battle.

Now our skald has left a space

At the end here, just in case

A new Jarl comes to reign.

A hero who would have a liking

To take charge of this band of Vikings

And make Iceland great again.

From the Frankish Skald: The Song of Charlemal

II - The Fall of Gunnblasdt

Searching for more Viking gold

The Franks sailed north o'er oceans cold.

To the furthest corner of the map.

Into the land Gunnblasdt controlled,

Slaves there to kidnap.

At Svinafell their ships made land

From whence they marched to take a stand

Before a lonely tower.

Where sanctuary might be safely found

By peasants in their desperate hour.

Charlemal, King of the Franks, shivered again. It had been an immense journey, from one corner of the civilized world to the other, it seemed. Here, standing on the desolate shore of this frozen land, it was as if they had travelled to another world. Then again, he could see the positive side. Anyone who lived here would have to be strong and resilient, and would therefore be perfect slave material. Just what he needed to bring in the grape harvest, amongst other things. And that tower was certain to be filled with gold as well, and Charlemal liked gold a lot.

Once the ships had  safely beached in a secluded bay, and the Franks had organised themselves, they moved inland. This tower was apparently some sort of sacred site, and it was likely that the peasants would head there in search of sanctuary now that the word was out that a hostile warband had landed nearby and was searching for slaves to take home with them. Charlemal hoped that was the case - it would be a lot easier to capture slaves if you knew where they would be. And so, his warband advanced, their intent to  intercept and capture peasants finding their way toward the sanctuary of the tower.

But before the Franks had reached the tower they saw Gunnblasdt's warband taking defensive positions on the plain ahead, ready to meet them. The Icelandic Jarl stood in the centre, his huscarls and berserkers beside him, a screen of archers in front. Behind them, peasants were already making their way towards the tower, passing close by the Vikings in the hope that they might protect them.

Gunnblasdt, beleaguered Icelandic Jarl

Having seen many brave Vikings fall

Declared that every Frank should die.

His archers standing like a wall

Poised to let their arrows fly.

But Charlemal, cunning Frankish Lord

Seeing Vikings readying swords

Carefully deployed his Franks

Foot warriors faced off Gunnblasdt's horde

While horses took the flanks.

Before the Franks could act, the enemy began to shoot, concentrating their fire on the Frankish warriors bearing Charlemal's banner. Many arrows fell on this unit, and many men fell, until only a handful of archers remained clustered around the banner. Only then did they realise that this was not the correct flag - someone had left the proper one at home, and heads would roll about that for sure when their Lord found out. But it was too late to do anything about that now. These Frankish archers wisely drew back, out of range of the exhausted enemy, while the second unit of archers, under Charlemal's personal command, advanced into the comparative safety of a small building, while Charlemal, mounted on his horse, stood alone on the right flank. Following up on this success, Gunnblasdt was keen to finish the job, and charged his berserkers into the building to destroy the second unit of Frankish archers.

Bu meanwhile, out of sight of the enemy, on the left flank the Frankish knights circled around behind Gunnblasdt's men, hunting down civilians, while on the right flank Charlemal was moving gradually closer to the peasants in that part of the battlefield.

Arrows launched from Viking bows

Felled many Franks with many blows

Forcing them to withdraw

Though the centre was a feast for crows

Twas just as Charlemal foresaw

They followed up on this onslaught

Berserkers into the building fought

Focused on killing Franks

They did not spare a lot of thought

For the horsemen behind their flanks

But the berserkers failed to take the building, as the defenders held sway. The berserkers were all slain, though leaving only a handful of Frankish archers behind. Only then did Gunnblasdt realise the true danger - while his men had been winning the fight in the centre, the Franks had slipped around their flanks, and were already rapidly gathering peasants for slaves. The Jarl ordered his hearthguard to chase after the enemy horsemen, but it was too late and they were too slow to be able to catch the mounted knights, who escaped into the distance with their prize.

Gunnblasdt was late to realise

The threat of Franks around both sides

Peasants just too far to save;

And Franks now quickly grabbed their prize

Of villagers as slaves.

Running out of options, Gunnbasdt decided to take matters into his own hands. Seeing Charlemal isolated, on the far right flank, chasing down peasants on his own, he charged. But in his desperation the Jarl had underestimated the challenge. By the time he reached Charlemal, he was already heavily fatigued, and thus left vulnerable to the Frankish Lord. What is more, Charlemal was prepared for this attack. With faith in his armour and in the surety that God was on his side fighting these northern pagans, he met Gunnbasdt's charge with vigour.

With Charlemal isolated on his right

Gunnblasdt chose this time to fight

One last chance to win the day

But 'gainst the man Steel Cannot Bite

He'd need good dice in this melee

But, unfortunately for the Viking Lord, the duel was short, and Gunnblasdt fell, severely wounded, to the ground. And so Charlemal hopped down from his horse and duly trussed up the wounded Gunnblasdt and slung him across the back of his horse to be taken for a slave himself, along with a selection of assorted peasants.

But alas Odin was not on his side

Gunnblasdt fell and Charlemal survived

The fate of Iceland now looks grave

For wounded Gunnblasdt was hogtied

To find himself enslaved.

So home to France Franks sail at last

With gold and slaves that they amassed

Coffers fully stocked.

As for the fate of poor Gunnblasdt?

He serves as Charlemal's mounting block.

"I could do with a footstool to get on and off my horse," Charlemal declared. "The King of Iceland will serve very nicely in that role." And so, it is told, the fate of the former Jarl of Iceland was sealed.

From The Skald: The Battle of Jutland

And so Leif's warband, who had landed on the coastline of this very flat land, moved quickly inland. Cnut chose to meet him in a broad open area between two hills, where the ravens gathered, waiting for their feast.

His priest by his side, Dane-axe armed hearthguard to the left and warriors to the right, with two pairs of his hearthguard scouts to his far right, Leif advanced his line without hesitation. The gods were favouring him, it seemed, with more sixes on his Saga dice than he knew what to do with.

Opposite, Cnut stood ahead of the line of his men, his warriors on his right facing Leif, two units of hearthguard on the left facing the two pairs of Norse Gaels and the berserkers lurking at the back, trying to stay safe for the time being.

"Call that an Invasion?" Cnut taunted, and his men laughed. But it was as if Leif had not heard him, for the Norse Gael advance continued undaunted and there were even more sixes on the dice. Cnut, becoming slightly unnerved at the confidence of his opponent and the lack of space to move in, stepped a few paces back, feeling a little more comfortable closer to his men.

"It's a very aggressive invasion," he muttered to himself. He exchanged glances with the men next to him. It was time for the Danes to be aggressive now. On the left flank, Cnut's hearthguard charged one pair of the Norse Gael scouts. Backed by the confidence of a six in their How Brave Are You? box, one of the Norse Gaels stepped forward and challenged: "Who's next?" he shouted. After a short pause, briefly considering and dismissing the alternatives, one of the Danes stepped forward. 

The dice gods are fickle, and at this point they changed sides.

"Er.. you were next..." said the Dane as the Norse Gael hearthguard fell in a pool of his own blood, and melee ensued, another man falling on either side.

Cnut smiled. With few Saga dice left on the Norse Gael battle-board, it was time to send the berserkers in, and so they charged the unit of Dane Axe-armed warriors ahead of them. The combination of Dane Axes, Ragnarok, Valhalla and very large handfuls of dice made mutual annihilation inevitable, and thus they all died.

"The boats are still there if you want to go back!" jeered Cnut, trying to hide the worried look on his face. But Leif was having none of it. On the Norse Gael right flank the second hearthguard pair joined the fight, while Leif's remaining warriors threw their javelins at the bondi opposite, rather rudely killing one of them.

With his last unblooded unit of hearthguard beside him, Cnut led a charge into the Norse Gael warriors, three of his men falling for the loss of seven of the enemy, the last Norse Gael warrior fleeing for his life.

A temporary success, but the situation was touch and go. Cnut stood with one faithful bodyguard beside him in the centre of the field, a unit of five of his warriors some distance to his right, two hearthguard running to support him, but still too far away, on his left. Leif stood dangerously close to Cnut, his priest at his side, supported by three Dane axe-armed hearthguard. His last surviving warrior was prudently keeping a safe distance away at the back.

"We shall lose the game to win the game!" Cnut cried, confidently. And as his men puzzled over exactly what he meant, Leif and his remaining hearthguard charged. Now Troll-Hide and Son of Odin are all very well, but even with two extra defence dice and an ablative hearthguard it's a challenge to survive thirteen hits. And thus Cnut fell to the ground.

Leaderless they might now be, but the Danes refused to surrender. Calling to Valhalla, the warriors charged the Viking hearthguard, seeking vengeance. calling to Valhalla, the blades of both sides flew as they gloriously chopped each other to bits, and all were slain. 

The last two Danes on the field, the two hearthguard who had failed to get to their Lord before he had fallen, backed away, but not quite far enough. Leif called on help from the dice gods, and again the sixes came. Three Saga dice became six, and thus Leif, alone, his battle board loaded, charged and cut down both of the enemy where they stood.

Victorious, Leif laid claim to the land.

Cnut, who had somehow survived, nursing his wounds, sneaked away to fight another day.

And the ravens began their feast.

The Skald's Tale (3): The Year of the Haggis

Book 2 of The Eye of the Raven

Action during Season 2 of The Eye of the Raven

Sing, o skald, of battles new,

Of action during Season Two,

Of clash of shield and sword.

When raiding warbands came and went

(Some of them from the continent)

And the Scots headed the leaderboard.

It all began when Aethelflaed

Invaded Jorvik, where she stayed.

The Anglo-Danes almost lost heart - 

It seemed the end of John's campaign;

But luckily for the Anglo-Dane

It turned out to be a false start.

The helpful ref who came along

Declared The Penny far too strong

And Aethelflaed agreed.

So the clocks wound back

(There had been no attack).

Aarold got off scot free.

So it all began another day

When leek-prowed boats landed in Norway,

And Welsh caught Viking half asleep.

They harried and burned within the fold,

But all they could find was Ubba's gold

(No sign of any sheep).

The Irish met the Danes in battle

Claiming back their stolen cattle

From Cnut Autokorrekthater.

Both sides would live another day

(Each said the enemy ran away)

For they fought an epic draw.

Cnut, now seeking battle worthier

Raided Anglo-Danish East Anglia.

Warlords met - Viking and Anglo-Dane.

Another blow for Anglo-Danish luck,

Campaign progress so nearly f***ed

When Aarold was brutally slain.

But fortunes changed with Aarold dead,

When the crown passed to rich dad Alfred.

He attacked those men in dresses,

The Scots, who so strongly defended

Sent the Danes home empty-handed

Calling them a bunch of Jessies.

Tavish, vict'ry to his liking

Moved now 'gainst Iceland Viking:

Vengeance of a sort was willed.

Though Gunnblasdt fought a mighty battle,

He was scared off (and his cattle)

When Tavish lifted up his kilt.

Meanwhile (after rules renew)

The Saxons invaded York (round two);

This time all would not be cancelled.

A different end - Saxons did not settle!

Alfred Steptoe showed his mettle,

And t'was Aelthelflaed that fled.

The Franks then sought to make their mark,

Their warband raiding Hedemark,

Seeking gold in their adventure.

Ubba and Charlemal clashed together;

The Norseman died defending his treasure;

Franks made off with his golden denture.

Ubba's heir, young Ubbason

Determined to be troublesome,

Wanted a saga all his own.

But stopped by Scots before a ford

His Vikings got savagely mauled,

And the Jarl had to row his own boat home.

Finally, Sir Sybald's Normans

Arrived in East Wessex without warning,

Apparently to refight Hastings.

But Aethelflaed's Anglo-Saxon force,

After a long march from up north,

Gave them a right good pasting.

Thus left alone til this year's end,

Leif's Norse Gaels (who chose to defend)

Couldn't keep top table status.

Tavish's Scots now head the scale;

And hence this chapter of our tale

We name The Year of the Haggis.

From the Scots Skald: Battle of the Burn

Wi' thair stoatin' win ower th' Vikin' scrotes o' th' land o' aice, 
Tavish McTavish, Laird o' all th' Noarth 
Teuket aisy in hi' stoatin' loaby 
Wi' a richt banquit o' braw Aislandic baifsteake, 
A-washed doon wi' hunners lairge o' mead 
N' cratur, o' coorse. 

Whin a' o' a' sudd'n thare wis a fairtin' blast 
O'win beneath th' kilts o' a' the noo 
Es th' door wur flung waide 
N' yin o' his scoots boalt'd in, all a-hollerin': 
"M'laird, thare ur mair Vikin' readers aff th' coost!"

Th' clan cheif turn'd tae Ewen Mea 'n' curs'd, 
Thain staun 'n' shoot'd tae a': 
"Mair o' they blowdy heairy, howfin Vikin's 
Aantae learn Scots manaers! 
Wae shell le'rn thaim howfur thay sae 
'Awright' in Glescae toon!"

S'oan th' neist pure wide bricht sunlit marnin' 
Tavish 'n' his main, ilk wi' a heid stowed oot 
O' rampaigin' beasties wi' maetal hamm'rs, 
Set aff o'er th' moars.
"Thair's a wee burn neart th' sea, 
Whaur we wull stoap thaim. 
Waill cetch wi` thaim thare 
N' gie thaim wha' thay'r deu.
Th' burn wull run rid wi' Vikin' blud by th'aind o' th' dae” 
Tavish grinn'd thro' hais theck rid fluff.

N' soon th' braive Scots, 
Th'sporrans a-swingin' wi' th' spaid o' thair mairch, 
Hud raich'd th' bonnie banks o' th' burn. 
Wi' warriors tae th' richt 
N' his picked main tae th' laift, 
Thay gawked 'n' weet'd. 

N' twas nae lang afair th' bastad Ubbas'n, 
Nabut a wee upstairt Viking 
Wi' a baird na hearier thain Tavish's knee-fluff 
Arraiv'd wi' his mangy excuise fur a warbaind. 
Th' hearthguard wa facin' th' Scots warriars, 
Ai' feartie-cat archers a-lurkin' in th' raucle beyon. 
Wi' warriars oan th' ither flaink, 
Th' Jimmy his-sel stoad wi' th' berserks, 
Skulkin' behin'.

Tavish, wi' his boaws, 
Staun fairless in th' centur o' his main 
As a true wairlord shuid.

Intae th' waetair th' Vikin' hearthguard charged, 
Shoutin' abuse 'n' insults 
Ain a forn taung thet th' Scots dingyed, 
Tho' yin Jimmy faell tae th'nmy arraes a-flaein' o'erheed. 
Meatin' th' Scots oan th' aither baink, 
Drookit wi' waetair maex'd wi' Vikin' blud, 
A' wur pat tae th' soard 
Whail bit twa braive Scotsmen faell.
Whail oan th' ither flaenk, 
Th' Vikin's charg'd, tae be met in th' burn by Tavish's maen, 
Kilts a-flyin' waild. 

Th' Vikin' hud nae nae plaice tae gae, 
Nae th' taime tae reas thair shiels 
Afore th' Scots wur amoang thaim, 
N' unprepair'd, thae tae faell,
Fur it steals a brave Jimmy 
Tae fend aff a Scotsman's waip'n so! 

As th' burn bolted wi' thair blud, 
Th' lest o' they Vikin's faell awae.
At lest Ubbason th' bas, 
Ainraig'd, roar'd his greet 
N' charg'd hissael thro' th' wataer, 
Hais berserks, wi' na arm'r 'n' sportin' bit a stitch, basaide. 

They brave maen faill tae haird Scots stael, 
N' Ubbason, aloane, 
Wis stabb'd up th' jacksie 
Sae baid thet he cuid dae na mair bit tae stammle awa', 
Yin haun pokin' twa fing'rs a-defiance, 
Th' ither cauvrin' his wound'd bahookie.

N' as th' lest o' th' enmy wur slean, 
Tavish 'n' Ewen gawked th' dregs 
Run beck tae thair boets 'n' slink awa' hame, 
Smilin' at th' thaught o' Ubbason, 
Roawin' his ain boet hame sittin' oan hi' ain bluidin erse.

N' th' burn bolted rid wi' Viking blud.